I don't know what I'm doing.

You might have had that thought yourself many times.

I have it often.

The overthinking, anxiety and uncertain feeling of not knowing what the f*ck your are doing or how to proceed.

It could be a project you work on, a unknown path you're walking through or simply just the unknowingness of life itself.

Don't worry, you're not the only one. And I'm here to let you know that even I, have these thoughts often.

The start of my journey

Some 7 years ago, I started out this journey on my own.

I'd earned a degree in Electrical Engineering.

I studied 3 years in Chalmers University in Sweden, Gothenburg, and decided to go for a Masters degree for 2 more years. That's a total of 5 years of studies.

No, I'm not that smart or a genius.

I partied more than I studied.

I slept more than I was awake on my lectures.

But I managed to go through it all and earn my degree.

Got my first engineering job. Life was good. A nice salary, a reservation for a new apartment and a bright looking future.

But something changed.

Since a kid. I've dreamed about something more. Longing to accomplish or become something great. That spark was never gone. Matter of fact, it became stronger over the years.

An opportunity appeared after a couple of months working as an engineer which made me take a bold decision to quit my job and join another project, much more different from my job.

But it all f*cked up.

The promise never happened and there I was, standing alone, in the dark, with a decision to keep going, or turning back.

The promise awoke something in me. That spark I always had. A reminder that maybe, it all happened for a reason.

So I decided to continue. Not knowing what would happen.

A long dark path was awaiting.

But, I was not alone. I had a friend with me. I see him as Morpheus from Matrix, and I'm Neo.

I let go of the reservation for the apartment, picked my bag and went to Spain. My family has an apartment there so me and my friend decided to chase our dreams abroad (under the palm trees and sun)

When we first started this journey some 7 years ago, he helped me to awaken that spark within me.

He helped me to help myself find my inner strength.

He reminded me, that I was "the chosen one", even though I couldn't believe it myself.

Until one day, I saw an image from the movie Matrix.

Neo's passport had his real name: Thomas Andersson.

It blew my mind, because my name is Tomas. A letter H is missing in mine, but I still like to see my life as this movie, Matrix.

Coincidence ?

I don't believe in coincidences anymore.

Looking back on this journey, I can see that all the things happening along the way has been perfectly orchestrated, leading up to this moment, of me writing this text, with a nice coffee in my hand, and smile on my face.

What once started as a unknown journey, of two friends, is still an unknown journey.

I think life always will be unknown.

The difference today is that I don't feel the need to control and know what would happen beforehand.

I don't feel the need to understand what my chapter 10 would look like, while still being on chapter 3.

This need, the urge of wanting to control every step of life, is what creates the overthinking, stress and anxiety, as mentioned at the beginning of this text.

When you learn to let go, everything changes

Life Is Like A Kinder Surprise

Life is like a kinder surprise, if you let it.

It's like the sweet chocolate and toy that you receive after eating it all up.

When me and my friend started out this journey together, the goal was to create and release a mobile application. We didn't have any prior experience of neither entrepreneurship, startups or coding itself.

What started out as a journey where I tried to learn and build the app myself, ended up hiring some cheap outsource team that turn our dream into garbage.

The whole path, over the years, have been filled with uncertainty and "what tf are we doing now?"

It caused a lot of stress, anxiety, and hardship.

We've been through the worst.

Just like Neo and Morpheus fighting through a world they didn’t fully understand.

But Neo never became "The One" by knowing everything. He became it the moment he let go. The moment he stopped trying to control. The moment he trusted.

He jumped. He believed. And the world around him shifted.

That's the moment we all reach, if we stay on the path long enough.

It’s not about knowing what you’re doing.

It’s about trusting who you’re becoming.

So if you’re walking a path right now, filled with uncertainty, fear, and confusion.

You’re exactly where you need to be.

You can't see it yet, but you'll look back one day and understand it all.

Looking back on this journey we've been on, more importantly, the personal path I've been on. I've realized that I was never abandoned or left alone, which I felt many times.

I was guided, by some higher intelligence.

We could call it God, Intelligence or just nature itself, but it was there with me.

What once was a dream 7 years ago, is soon a product, ready to be launched into the market.

If you are curious, you can read more about it here: http://memochat.net. ​

What used to feel uncertain, causing us stress, is today calm and certainty, knowing that every step is unfolding perfectly for us, even though we can't see it yet.

This has brought results, in the perfect possible way over the past year.

The art of being able to let go, trusting the timing has helped us

tremendously, both with our project but also personal life.

I no longer worry how things will unfold. I just know, that everything is unfolding as it should and I am where I should be. My focus is always in this present moment and the step that I'm currently in.

This makes life more adventurous. A exciting journey where next step feels like a kinder surprise.

It's like being a river that flows effortlessly, without all the blocks such as stones or logs.

Just a pure flow.

You might read this and find yourself in the exact position I lived in for years. That grinding anxiety in your stomach when you think about the future. That voice in your head asking:

Or simply just stressing over the timing for it all, thinking that something should be done in a certain time not trusting the flow of life.

The exhaustion from constantly trying to control outcomes that were never yours to control in the first place. The sleepless nights spent planning for scenarios that may never happen. That heavy feeling when you realize you've been so focused on chapter 10 that you're not even living in the current chapter 3.

I know this place intimately. The tightness in your chest. The urgent need to "figure it all out" before taking another step. The fear that everyone else has it figured out while you're still stumbling in the dark. But what if I told you that this desperate need to know is exactly what's keeping you stuck?

What if the very thing you're fighting against is the key to everything flowing effortlessly?

Here’s what I wish someone had told me 7 years ago when I was gripping so tightly to certainty that I was choking the life out of my dreams:

• You're always on the right path, at the right time, even though it doesn't feel like it.
• You don't actually control anything in life. Neither the timing, the events or anything else. You act and thats it.
• Everything happens for a divine reason, and you'll understand why later on.
• Don't focus on the future, stay connected to this present moment and the step you are currently in.
• When you take action, it'll bring clarity and things will open up more.
• The more you fight and control, the more resistance and unnecessary challenges you create for yourself.

These aren’t just words. They’re invitations to experience life the way it was meant to be lived. Save these. Read them when that familiar anxiety creeps in.

Let them remind you who you’re becoming.

I’ve also prepared a 4-minute audio of affirmations that has helped me let go, relax, and trust the process more over the years. When that familiar anxiety hits, when you’re overthinking your next move, just press play and let these reminders wash over you.

You can find and download it here: https://evolvee.kit.com/1c09153b81​

Sometimes we need to hear the truth in our own voice, but sometimes we need to hear it from someone who’s walked the path before us.

Today, I’m writing this with a coffee in my hand and genuinely excited about what I don’t know is coming next. That’s the difference surrender makes.

Whatever path you’re on right now, trust it. You’re exactly where you need to be.

Talk soon, Tomas

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