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What if I told you that 99% of your stress and anxiety comes from fighting stories, not facts?

You're stuck in traffic, no cars moving and thinking: "Come on, f*cking move..!", which leads you to stress and anger, which destroys your whole day afterwards.

You think you're upset about the traffic, but actually, you're reacting to the thoughts in your head about the situation.

This happens everywhere, even right now. You're not reading my words, you're reading your interpretation of my words through every filter you've inherited over the years.

It feels like you're experiencing life. But what actually happens is that you're wearing VR-Glasses filtering reality through a set of beliefs, conditions and thoughts.

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You're Stuck in Your Own Simulation

Most people are trapped in their own simulation, fighting stories about reality. Not reality itself.

Let's say your friend doesn't text you back for two days. You spend three hours analyzing what you might have said wrong, replaying the conversation, and creating elaborate theories about why they're upset. You spent more time fighting your story about the situation than it would have taken to simply send another message.

That's not 'bad,' but it reveals something important:

you're unconscious of the fact that those three hours could have been spent on anything that actually moves your life forward.

You believe you're solving something. But you're actually creating it. And the worst part is that the more you fight the story, the more real it becomes.

That situation triggered so many thoughts and emotions which led you to become angry at your friend for something they never actually did.

Now you're mad at them. They have no idea why. When they finally text back with "Sorry, was visiting my grandmother in the hospital," you realize you spent three days solving a problem that existed only in your head.

This is the life you're trapped in.

Not just with your friends, but everything. Your boss, the traffic, the news, and every other circumstance that creates an emotional reaction to a false story in your head. It's not the situations draining you. It's the stories you attach to them.

These glasses don't just create momentary stress, they steal years of your life. While you're fighting imaginary battles, real opportunities pass you by. Real relationships suffer because you're reacting to stories that exist only in your head.

The world isn't your enemy, your own VR-glasses are.

How I Finally Saw Through My Own Simulation

Your brain takes raw reality, runs it through filters of memory, trauma, beliefs, culture, and expectations, then shows you a movie on the inside of your head.

What you react to is the movie, not life itself.

Two people walk into the same room and experience completely different realities. One sees opportunity, the other sees danger. One feels love, the other feels rejection. The room didn't change. Their filters did.

That's the simulation. And the more you react to it, the more real it becomes to you.

I used to let the world determine my mood, constantly reacting to what people said or situations that triggered my emotions.

At work, a colleague would suggest "It might be better if you do it this way instead" - simple, neutral feedback. But my approval-seeking glasses immediately translated this into:

I felt defensive, smaller, like I was failing at something I thought I was handling well. The rest of the day, I'd replay that interaction, building a case for why they were wrong or why I was inadequate.

But here's what actually happened:

Someone offered constructive advice to help me improve. That's it. No judgment about my worth. No hidden criticism. Just information.

When I finally saw their words without my filter, everything shifted. The same feedback became useful instead of threatening. I stopped seeing that person as someone who criticized me and started seeing them as someone trying to help me get better.

Same words. Same person. Completely different reality.

But here's what really messed with my head:

This wasn't a one-time thing. I started noticing this pattern everywhere - in conversations with friends, random interactions with strangers, every trigger followed the same script:

something neutral would happen, my glasses would filter it through old programming, and I'd spend hours fighting ghosts.

I was exhausted.

Constantly on edge, waiting for the next person to confirm that I wasn't good enough.

Every interaction felt like a test I was failing.

Look, if you've been living this way for years, you're not broken. These glasses are inherited from family, culture, past wounds. The fact that you're seeing the pattern now means you're ready to take them off.

One day, mid-spiral, I caught myself and asked:

The question shifted everything. It became my starting point for liberation. It was like dropping a backpack full of stones I'd been carrying for years without realizing it.

I finally saw the pattern. I'd been reacting to stories in my head, not life itself.

The Question That Changes Everything

This question interrupts your simulation and creates room for investigation.

Let's imagine you're outside the supermarket, looking for parking close to the door. It's afternoon rush and everyone's competing for spots.

You're immediately thinking: "Why is everyone here at the same time?" Irritation rises in your chest, breathing gets faster, heart races. You can't even stand the music because all you're focusing on is park the car, buy groceries, and escape.

But you've learned that you mostly react to virtual reality, not actual reality. So you catch yourself and ask the question.

Like cutting power to your house, everything goes quiet.

Suddenly, you don't see enemies in cars. You see random people trying to do the exact same thing as you - get groceries for dinner tonight.

The music feels good, so you turn up the volume. You're breathing slowly, smiling, feeling at peace.

Out of nowhere, you see a car leaving. You take the parking space. It wasn't the closest one, but you feel fine walking a little today.

Why? Because there's no rush. No voice in your mind stressing you out.

Now picture the opposite path: You circle the lot five more times, swearing under your breath. You honk at the guy backing up too slow. By the time you finally park, your heart's pounding, your patience is gone, and you snap at the cashier. You didn't just lose ten minutes in the parking lot. You lost your whole evening.

When you stop fighting stories and start responding to reality, decision-making becomes effortless. Relationships improve because you're no longer defending against attacks that weren't attacks. Energy returns because you're not wasting it on imaginary problems.

Now, this isn't always easy at first. Your mind has been wearing these glasses for years, and they've become automatic. The specific glasses you wear depend on what you learned growing up, and most people fall into one of three categories:

• Some of us chase approval
• Some of us fight for control
• Some of us cling to security

Want to know which one is running your life?

Take this 1-minute quiz and find out what filter you're wearing: 1 Min Quiz.​

That's all for this week.

Remember, the next time you're caught up in a situation, take some deep breaths and ask:

Flow with you,
Tomas